To the person who stole my bike

vivianimbriotis | Jan. 27, 2022, 1:55 p.m.

Hi,

I figure this is probably not a great time for you. Either you really, really needed a bike or you’re going through something, and either way I wish things were going a little better for you.

Just a few pointers. You should know that the back brake is a bit loose, and I’ve already tightened it as much as possible up at the lever, so you’ll need a number five allen key to tighten it down at the brake itself. 

Oh, and the steering column – there’s a broken washer in there I’ve been meaning to replace, which is why it makes that groaning sound when you stand up on the pedals and pull back on the handlebars. You should know that the rust on the handlebars is sturdy, the only way I ever managed to get it off was with vinegar. Maybe you can look up a redox table for more details.

You should know that some of the dust caught in the gears is from Maria Island, where I took that bike with my partner at the time, some six years ago now. I understand if you need to clean it off but please be respectful when you do. Oh, and when you’re in the second drive gear and changing up to the fifth driven gear, you need to press the shifter quite hard, I think because a pebble from the beach on Maria where we kissed bounced off that gear and bent it. Maybe that’s a bit overromantic.

You should know that the tires are all worn down because I tried over and over to ride that thing up the hill I lived on in high school, and it took months before I could finally do it. I think it’s the steepest hill in Hobart. If you must replace the tires, please lay them to rest with some dignity, and some acknowledgement of their service.

If you’re thinking about throwing the bike away, or dumping it somewhere, please don’t. Please give it to someone else. It’s easier to think of it being ridden then lying in a landfill. 

Kind regards,

Viv