vivianimbriotis | May 23, 2023, 2:26 p.m.
I come home from the hospital; I try to type
The pokey motel room does not have a kitchen
It does have two wall-mounted massive black screens
I comfort myself that the hospital's paying
And sit in the shower 'til I see the light.
It is so hard to make my myself write
So I find myself writing about the motel.
The curtains remain a suggestion to sun
And I need to go sleep but this is close to fun
The worst of it all is the pointlessness.
Deep-seated fatigue that permeates through
Bourne of the sense that all that I do
All through the day does little renew
Nor comfort nor heal nor mend nor make true.
But what is the point in the capture of this?
The rendering down into slant rhymed language
Of a man's preconceptions and little breakdown
In two-TVed motels in a far coastal town?
I should let it all go like foam down the stream
The POST verb of HTML is obscene
When used to record some men I have been.
As I sit down, eat pasta and stare at the wall
I cant help a selfish urge dominate all
I want future Viv to remember me thus
Drowning in rosters and PowerChart pus
Maybe in time if he feels less at ease
He won't lose his only goddamn set of keys
Mid-twenties lost cause.
Trapped in a shrinking cube.
Bounded on the whimsy on the left and analysis on the right.
Bounded by mathematics behind me and medicine in front of me.
Bounded by words above me and raw logic below.
Will be satisfied when I have a fairytale romance, literally save the entire world, and write the perfect koan.